We’ve all seen this wedding dance before: The bride and groom are announced, they move onto the dance floor, obviously uncomfortable. As the music starts they lean on each other and shuffle back and forth performing the dreaded ”Clutch and Sway”. The song is entirely too long and the guests have either lost interest, are back at the bar or are talking amongst themselves.
This scenario is easily avoided with a little forethought and planning. Your plan can be to create a stunning, choreographed showpiece, or to present a basic dance done simply and gracefully. It’s up to you. Both will require that you make time for a little practice. The wedding dance is one of your first joint undertakings as husband and wife. It’s not only a beautiful expression of the love you share, but embodies one of the key elements of marriage: teamwork.
Scott Lappin, dance instructor , shared these tips with us to make sure make sure that your teamwork pays off with a successful and beautiful first dance.
1. Start well in advance- To perform a wedding dance is a new skill, even if you already dance a bit. Allow yourself time to feel comfortable. Most couples will need 10-25 private lessons, usually taken a week or less apart. Set aside time for your lessons, and time to practice. Be advised that as your wedding date approaches you’ll be extremely busy with family and last minute arrangements, and practicing your dance will be harder to fit in. Don’t wait for the month before to begin this important activity, start early and call a dance instructor, now!
2. Select your music carefully- Pick out a few songs with special meaning to you, or that fit your personalities, and then bring them to your instructor to listen to and assess. Now is the time to convey all of the dreams and desires you have for your dance. How do you envision this singular moment of your life? Fairytale Romantic? Funny and endearing? Entertaining and Crazy? Simple and Elegant? Again, it’s your call.
• Song Beat – Some beautiful songs were not really recorded for couple dancing. Popular dances used at weddings are Rumba, Waltz, Swing, Foxxy and Foxtrot. Currently, couples are choosing popular dances like the Salsa and Tango. Some are even choosing club music; mixing dance styles and creating all out dance “happenings”. What ever your tastes, your dance instructor will help you decide on the right song and the dance that will best suit it.
• Song Length – Whichever song you love and decide on, consider your guests, and be thoughtful. If your song is extremely long plan to have the DJ fade it out before it’s over, or have him edit you a shorter version to play for your dance. Keeping it to 2-3 minutes is a good plan.
3. Plan a beginning and an end- The entrance and exit are your first and last impressions. How you will enter the dance floor? On each other’s arm? Will you walk on before or after the music starts? Will you meet in the middle? How will you end your dance… with a dip, a kiss? How will you move into the next activity? A good dance instructor will help plan and choreograph each aspect of your performance and make it fun and effortless for you.
4. Have fun practicing! In between your lessons, make time to practice your new dance skills. This is a great opportunity to get used to working as a team. Learning something new can be stressful, especially under all the other pressures you may be feeling as your wedding approaches. So, as you practice, remember why you are choosing to share this dance. Remember how much you are in love, and have fun together! Your dance instructor will have many additional tips and tricks for practice time so you are ready and feel confident.
5. Talk to your DJ and Photographer. Make sure your DJ and photographer know what you’re up to!
• The DJ will need to know how you will enter and exit your dance so they can cue the music accordingly. If you have a special CD cut, bring more than one copy with you. Get the DJ to try it on his equipment prior to the wedding to make sure it plays OK.
• Photographers are used to couples standing still and swaying in the middle of the floor. But, that’s not YOU! Let them know where you’ll be entering the floor and which way you’ll be facing. Give them a list of a couple of your “highlights” (dips, drops, lines etc.) so they can catch all the important moments of your dance on film.
• You’ll have many great memories of your first dance if you take a few minutes before hand to assure that your DJ and photographer are “in the loop”.
Some parting thoughts from Scott .
Your dance, no matter what you do, will be a beautiful expression of your love, your personalities and a great symbol of your future life together. Your guests will love anything you do, and be impressed by any extra effort you make. So, bring joy and love into your dance, don’t sweat the small stuff, and enjoy it all!
Scott Lappin is an independent dance coach who has been teaching folks the joys of ballroom dancing for 30 years. Visit his wedding site at www.ScottLappin.com/weddingdance